Religion

Today at the breakfast table the landlady and me mostly talked about their religion – Islam. The landlady asked me what I know about their religion and I had to admit not too much. Of course I had heard about that Muslim men can have more than one wife, that bride and groom cannot sleep together before marriage, that it is difficult to get divorced for a woman and other this and that. I also had to admit it is mostly negative that our media talks about Islam religion. Anyway, here are some bits the landlady told me about the Islam.

Praying.

Muslims pray 5 times per day and one can hear Arabic calling through the loudspeakers of mosque when it is praying time.

Getting married.

The presents bringing ceremony that I could take part in some days ago was to bring gifts to the bride-to-be. The gifts are personal for the girl: money, gold, clothes, handbags etc, not something for the bride and groom together like we have it in Europe. The landlady's daughter who gets married is 22 years old and the wedding will be in March. Nowadays girls can choose themselves who to marry to but it is also very common that the family suggests who to marry to. It is also usual nowadays to get married around 25 years or so because they also want to make career first, before 16 or 18 years old girls got married. The bride and the groom are not allowed to sleep together before wedding because “nobody wants to get married to one who has had many partners before” or get some disease.

Wedding ceremony.

Only the groom will go to mosque on the wedding day to give promises. The bride will be decorated with henna, perfumed all over the body and all body hair will be moved. The bride has to be perfect for the first wedding night. Wedding itself lasts for 2-3 days.

A man marrying to more than one wife.

A man can marry only to more than one wife for a reason. The reason can be in example the wife not getting children after many years.

Cheating

When a man wants to have sex then the woman has to give it. Only when the woman is ill she can deny. When a woman has refused to have sex and a man goes out to have sex from somebody else then it is woman's fault.

Divorce

A man can get a divorce for a reason, but he does not have to proof anything. When a woman wants a divorce she has to have a reason and 3 witnesses. Before the divorce it will also be discussed in the family (with the parents, with siblings). If a woman does not have witnesses then she has to go to court to get a divorce and put a hand on the Koran and tell the truth. Koran is everything for them.

Heritage

When a father dies then the sons get more heritage than the daughters. This is because the son has to take care of the family (of mother, of sisters) then. A daughter can spend the heritage only on herself.

Clothing/Covering

Women cover themselves in front of men they could get married. That means they do not have to cover them for father and brothers. The landlady said that she is very much used to covering herself and when she travels she usually also covers herself. When woman's body is not covered it can be provoking for men. So covering is to protect women and for the women's good.

Violence, raping

Violence and raping is not allowed in Islam. When a woman does not want to pray the man can scold her but not use any violence. Raping is not allowed either and when a woman wears decent (covered) clothes but gets raped she is not guilty. But when there are not decent clothes then – following the landlady – the woman has provoked the man and “it is natural men get urges”.